The Bharat-India reality

It was high time that I discovered India. However, I wasn't really sure what it meant precisely! All I knew was that I wanted to discover India but had no clue whatsoever about what exactly to discover: people, culture, landscape, languages, food or what? So, on the spur of a moment, I decided to explore something unconventional, something that fascinated me... the remotest parts of Maharashtra and its tribal culture, their lifestyle, and their problems. Never did I think that it would be a life-changing discovery; an experience -

far more interesting than the streets of Paris,
far more frustrating than Lebanese power cuts,
far more exasperating than Pune traffic,
and far more calming than the beaches in San Francisco... 

I was skeptical about traveling alone in my own country, though it felt like a true adventure in all senses, much more adventurous than getting lost in a Cedar forest in Lebanon or missing the last train from Berkeley to SF city. I was quite irritated that I had apprehensions when, for once I didn't have to worry about the language, the road signs or food. Finally, I made up my mind and decided to take it up as a challenge and a chance to test my own limits. I don't regret that decision, even for a second, for it showed me to a completely different and unknown side of my own country.

The challenge began with the longest and the most grueling bus journey of my life: Pune - Akola - Paratwada - Simedoh - Chunkhadi - Hatru - the distance of about 700 km that we covered in 26 hours through various buses and bus stands.

The last leg of the journey was the most thrilling, beautiful and relaxing. The untouched beauty of Melghat, its remoteness, lush green landscapes, the mountains clad in emerald green shawl, roads with sharp turns (at one point there were about 52 sharp hair-pin turns in just one km!!), the rare serenity and to top on that the informal chats with the fellow travelers and their simplicity made us forget the distance we had covered. Maybe this was something I was looking for - the openness of human interactions, connectivity free days, and simplicity. It's like at times you don't know what exactly you are missing unless you come across it and that's exactly what happened with me!

Melghat, basically a Tiger Reserve situated in the north-eastern Maharashtra, in the district of Amaravati, was a perfect destination to forget all the tensions and uncertainties of the busy city life. Leaving Beirut and returning to Pune to the same unpredictability wasn't something I had asked for. I needed to go away from all that and Melghat offered me that solace. I went to Melghat with Maitri, a Pune-based NGO that has contributed phenomenally to lowering of maternal and child mortality rates in this region thanks to its "Dhadak Mohim" or an awareness campaign organized every year during the monsoons (July to September). The main idea behind this campaign is to create awareness about the primary health care, nutrition and try to bridge the gaps between medical services provided by the Government and the actual needs of the villagers with the help of volunteers.

Though a boon to agriculture, monsoon season isn't exactly the best friend of tribes living in jungles, especially in the jungles of Melghat. The overflowing rivers completely cut off the villages from each other, making the already tough life even more difficult.

This year the heavy rains took away all the crops and left the poor farmers with nothing in hands, neither to sell in the markets nor to feed their families. All possible infections, water-borne and communicable diseases, though usually easily treatable, are at their peak during these three months of monsoon and take the highest toll on children between the age of 0 to 6 months old. As a result, the main objective of the "Dhadak Mohim" to these villages was to provide primary medication to the children in need, treat the disease at the very beginning and report the critical cases to the district hospital when required, talk to people about their problems and give simple yet sustainable solutions for primary health care, breastfeeding practices, hygiene etc. Our job as volunteers was rewarding in itself and satisfactory too, however, I did not know how to deal with the constant nagging feeling at the back of my mind to have much more solid and long-term solutions...

The stay in Melghat made me realize that I was taking so many things for granted - Good schools, good roads (oh well, it's a different story that after the monsoon, even the city roads can compete with the village roads!), drinking water, regular income, private or public transport etc. But just ten days in these villages, with these wonderful people I am convinced (yet again) that, no, life is unfair and equality is a myth. After the first two days at our base camp, I learned that the villages that came under the Tiger Reserve were not provided with electricity and proper roads because that land was under the Tiger Reserve. For a second, I thought, who is more important - tiger or man? Should all these people living on this land for generations be kept away from today's basic necessities just because some tigers might want to roam around the jungles of Melghat? Who is the intruder here? Survival of the fittest?
The opinion remains divided even my own mind.

Melghat explained the notorious difference between 'India' and 'Bharat'... It was heartbreaking to actually see that even today, in 2013, a considerable number of people still live without proper housing, electricity, roads and schools. Yes, I was aware of such harsh realities yet, actually witnessing the grim truth was not easy. After having lived in the developed cities of the world, working and living in the small villages of Melghat with poverty struck Korku people was a real eye-opener.

The experience was frustrating on many levels. I felt helpless that the children of this part of the world are being deprived of their rights to education and food. Reading about poverty and actually seeing, experience it from so close are two different things altogether. Before this camp, living without my phone, the internet, electricity, drinking water was something unimaginable. The world outside my comfort zone seemed too far-fetched. Wanting to help people and actually helping them was as different as day and night. But I am glad I took the first step outside my comfort zone. I tested my own limits thanks to this camp and now I can say that I can live in any situation, anytime! This was a true field experience per-say where we were in constant touch with the beneficiaries (or not) of the various government policies and seeing its (disastrous) results.

Those ten days are over and now I am back in my comfortable house. Nothing has really changed here. But I can say that I am a different person now. I saw and lived things like never before. It has taught me a lot and has made me a lot more sensitive, aware of the problems of my country and grateful for my luck. The simplicity of Korku people opened my eyes to the fact that you can be happy with what you have. It's good to have finally made that connection with the people of Melghat and I hope to do something really concrete for them and somehow contribute to the tough yet possible task of uniting the India and Bharat...

Souvenirs...

"Bring some souvenirs!"
"So did you buy some souvenirs to take home?"
"This is a better souvenir than that one!"

...

Since my departure date has been decided, I have been facing such questions and demands and suggestions! And I can tell you that I am only lost regarding all of it! Though it's a great idea to bring home something that represents that particular place where you were staying, "which souvenir to buy" is one of the most difficult questions that you may have to answer. Because, how can one small statue of a famous palais where you went with your friends and had awesome time represent it? How can a keychain of a typical tree or animal of that country can translate the good-bad moments you had in that country? How can a fridge magnet of the typical delicacy of the region translate how delicious that dish was? How can a photo postcard depict the true beauty of a place? Or, even worse: there are certain things that are not "typical", so there's no miniature representation of it and you don't know what to replace it with! For example, how can my memories of walking down the streets of Gemayze or Jeitawi can be turned into "souvenirs"? I wish there was a poster

or something that compiled all the "service" (taxi) experiences that could be brought as "souvenir"! 

I don't know why, but yesterday while trying to find some such souvenirs to take home all these thoughts came to my mind! The shop was excellent, it had all the perfect things that represented Lebanon! But while checking out the different articles each time all the good-bad memories related to them came running to my mind and then I just felt that it was useless to buy these things! Buying souvenirs was a very painful task as it brought back all the memories of numerous dinners, outings, parties with my friends and broke my heart a little that now I won't get to do so anymore... Souvenirs proved the "Past can hurt" theory correct.

But nonetheless on a positive note, I think I'll be able to relive those fun moments and share my wonderful experiences with my family and friends through souvenirs and their limitations would no longer be a problem! 

It's time...

Such a long break between two posts could only mean that the past three (?!! wow!!) months were happily busy! I cannot believe that it's already time to bid the final goodbye to this wonderfully complicated and enthralling land of falafels and baklavas, Beirut! 

I had never imagined that I would stay for such a long time (well, 8 months is quite a considerable amount of time!) in Lebanon. Things worked out (or not) in such a way that my stay got extended by four months. (No regrets at all!) The extraordinary experiences I got here are incomparable to anything else and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Be it living in the extremely hardcore, conservative Muslim or in equally liberal Christian neighbourhoods, be it witnessing a social awakening event where I actually saw two girls getting almost killed by a crazy rash driver, be it living right above the 'parking' of the army tanks, be it laying on the pebble beach with the cleanest water (yani cleanest!) whilst enjoying the cool Mediterranean breeze or be it just walking on a road amongst the buildings adorning the destructive memories of the war...  Each day here has been a different one, with new challenges and with even newer hopes. 

Every time I meet a new Lebanese person, I am asked if I like their motherland. Very frankly, in the beginning, I was not a big fan and rather quite fed up with its racist and stereotyped ideas about people from the South. But, now it has changed. I have learned to ignore the obviously racist remarks and instead have fallen in love with Beirut. It has its own charm and I can't get enough of it!

The city is full of contradictions. But I love this contradictory character of the city, irrespective of the fact that, at times you can't stop wondering about how on earth does a city with so many inconsistencies still survive! It has everything: happening bars, (very few) parks, sea, and the beach, calming streets of Achrafieh or Gemmayze, the madness of Hamra, churches, mosques, the best falafels, the best orange juice, antique boutiques, roadside shops, and also heartbreakingly expensive Beirut Souks.

The city has the amenities of a capital city, yet it lacks in a hell lot of other basic things! The very 'regular' power-cuts, the 'mini-buses' (which by the way are much more reliable and safer than the taxis), their honking, the roaring show-offs of Porches and similar high end cars, the frustrating traffic jams in spite of the big, multi-lane roads and flyovers and half-broken, slimy two wheelers zigzagging and roaming the streets in all possible directions add to Beirut's charm.

Yet another interesting fact about Beirut is that here you can be sure of your cultural enrichment. Every road has a story to tell you. Every graffiti comples you to think about the social divide. The past and the present co-exist in the most beautiful manner here. I had never been to so many exhibitions, art films, concerts in any other city before.

Its people are its core strength. Very open (at times a bit too much), welcoming, driven by the politics and everything, in general, the Beirutis are very special people. Though not always consistent, people are quite interested in the different form of arts and I can say this thanks to the success of my Bollywood dance classes. Their multilingual-ness is mind-blowing! It's quite refreshing to start a day with "Hi, kifik, ça va?" or "Bonjour - Bonjour-ein". Here, the conversations don't stop at a mere 'hi-hello'. They go on forever where people use all the possible 'formules de politesse' in one go. I find it very fascinating as it shows that people are genuinely interested in knowing how you are doing and that it's not just a formality!

The city, which, in the beginning, kind of made me want to leave immediately is now surprisingly making the departure equally difficult. With time, I have grown fond of it, its people and everything it offers. The thrills of living in a war-torn city, which is again on the brinks of breaking into yet another bloody war are inexpressible. It breaks my heart to see such an amazing country getting forced into violent bombings and killings due to some headstrong and blind politicians or 'activists'. I sympathize with the city and its people and I am in awe of its spirit where 'life continues'. Beirut has given me a lot... some life-long friendships, a very important tool of patience, a chance to understand what 'humanitarian action' is and how it can change the life of certain groups of the society for better or worse, a hardcore professional experience, one of the most delicious cuisines and much more. I feel I have become a part of this madness where now I also eat, party, crib, dress, and talk like its people with a few 'Akeeds, yanis and anjaads' in every sentence!

It's a shame that I won't be staying here any longer and my love affair with the city will be ending soon. Yet, I can say for sure that no other city can ever take the place of Beirut in my heart.

Inshallah I'll return soon... Inshallah, a true inshallah.

Relativity Part 2

Unlike any other city I have lived in, Beirut has taught me the most about life in general. Yes, I am compelled to say 'life et al.' because that's how intense the experience is... This is the only city where I am part of two extreme worlds; one which flaunts its wealth in subtle yet quite obvious manners and the other which tries to mask its misery with a simple broad smile. Howsoever exhilarating such experience is, at times it leaves me numb and I find myself struggling to decide where exactly I belong to: to the rich or to the poor? to the mediocre ultra-sophisticated society or to the simplest yet harsh one? This constant change of social lieu is quite disturbing when you are foreign to the culture and trying your best to overcome the petty adjustment issues to get assimilated with your new surroundings. You don't know what to relate to and you are just lost! 

Beirut presents staggering cultural contrasts. I think this would be the only place in the world where you can experience the cultural and reverse cultural shocks at the same time! You can easily spot a girl in summer clothes i.e. skinny shorts and a singlet walking alone on the opposite side of the road where a woman clad in her niqab, barely even showing her eyes awaits her husband! This happens only in Lebanon. Recently I shifted to an apartment in a very chic, Christian international-French area of Beirut. I could never imagine that two areas of the same city could be so drastically different! Earlier I used to live in an area which was predominantly Muslim; where I wasn't even allowed to invite any guy friends at home and here I have to share my apartment with two guys! Before I hardly ever saw any woman without hijab contrary to here where I hardly see any woman with it. These small cities within the big city confuse me at times and I don't know what kind of behavior would be appropriate!

This was about the city that throws at you a big jigsaw puzzle of relativity and you are exhausted by putting the pieces in their right place.

On the other hand, when you are a young-poorly-paid-professional just about to kick-start your international career in such a city, the relativity takes a whole new level. Once you work at International ladder, you get to know how best life can get but at the same time, you have also witnessed the bleak side of the same life through various field visits. The guilt of not being content with what you have eats your mind up and you get fed up of the fight between your own 'good and bad minds' justifying your thoughts and aspirations. On one side you know that you made a choice and you have to stick to it, but on the other side you actually start questioning everything because there is nothing around you that assures you that you took a good (or bad) decision. You have come too far away from your relativity standards and lack thereof, you feel lost. The new is too new and the old is too old!

This happens when you look back and realize that your paths drifted apart so much from your own folks that now you are alone in your endeavors. No one is in view. You don't know whether you are on a right track or no. You just know that you are not part of the larger, comfortable group. You feel sad, alone. At low moments, you even fail to acknowledge that you might actually be on a correct and a rather better path. You feel sandwiched between two completely different cultures, contrast sets of ambitions and two pole-apart worlds. This lack of relatable stuff is very frustrating. You unnecessarily start judging your choices. You know it very well that you asked for this offbeat set of battles and fights which are way different from those that your friends go through. But sometimes you secretly wish that you hadn't had to calculate your weekly budget for grocery or that you hadn't had to think extremely practically about your emotional life...

But maybe at times, it is better not to have anything to relate to. You create your own standards and you set your own goals. This way you know the pros and cons of your actions. Nobody can really judge you about your choices. You just need to hang in there and not lose faith in what you have decided to do.

All you have to do is to relate to yourself and then everything seems to be falling in place!

Power of Recycling!

You buy one bottle of water because you can't drink the tap water. You buy another one because you can't use the tap water for cooking. You buy one more because you are thirsty. You keep on buying more and more water bottles because you can't do without them. And in the end a heap of water bottles gets created in your room and smirks at you while you are thinking that why do you have to spend a criminal amount of money on water bottles in country which has the best ever natural resources for water.

You write a word on a paper, you don't like it so you tear it off and throw it away. You print something that you didn't want by mistake and now that paper has to go to the dustbin. You receive legnthy (boring) letters and you don't know what to do with them so you send to them the world of dustbin! You prefer paper but still have to do all the editing on computer, so eventually you throw away the 'hard copy'. You have stored tons of data in files and there's no space any more for even a single sheet of paper in your office. Hence to make more space you digitalize the office and yallah all the paper in dustbin!

So eventually at the end of the day, week, month you have created a monster of water bottles and paper and you don't know what to do with it! You get frustrated with all the messy room and the amount of money you have spent on all these once-lovely papers and life-saving water bottles. 

But now I have found a way to get over this frustration - recycling! It's fun and satisfactory! Yesterday I got to know about how they recycle all these 'waste' to raise funds to buy custom-made wheelchairs for kids with special needs. I had never imagined that bringing the sacs of used water bottle and paper in the office for recycling would result into something so beautiful! It was on the occasion of the 'Earth Day' when UNRWA-Lebanon Field Office put together a wonderful event to celebrate the contribution of its employees towards raising funds to bring smile on five lovely Palestinian kids with special needs. 

This 'Recycling' initiative, launched in April 2012, aims at improving the quality of life of people with special needs while working in line with the 'Green the UN' project and also to fulfill the CSR. The project began at the Lebaon field office in order to engage the Palestinian community in eco-friendly acts.  So far 70 tons of paper and 1 ton of plastic were recycled. This initiative conducted in partnership with Arc en Ciel raised funds to buy these custom made wheel-chairs, and brought a broad smile on five Palestinian families!

Before these chairs, Umar, Fatme, Hadi, Nazih and Mohammad who suffer from cerebral parsley, epilepsy and related problems, had a great difficulty in sitting without any support. This also resulted in problems of breating, eating and required a constant attention from their families. But now thanks to these magic-chairs these kids can now sit properly in their custom-made wheel chairs and enjoy their freedom of eating and movment. The thick cloth support given to their chest also makes their breathing easier!

When I entered the hall and saw these kids smiling and cheering it gave me some sense of satisfaction! I was happy that my small contribution helped the initiative to raise sufficient funds! It was just wondeful to see how a well-planned initiative can change people's life for good. It is these events and initiatves that inspire me to continue the journey and keep working for the betterment of people's life! This sense of satisfaction is the best thing and makes you forget about all the hardships of living away from family!

I am very impressed that even the city of Beirut has taken up these initiative of recycling and you can now these things almost allover the city!

If a country a like Lebanon can do it, even we can do it!
My dear friends, lets get inspired and enjoy the power of recycling! 

Global citizenship!

Though there isn't any official document that says that you are a 'global citizen', you know it when you are one. This citizenship, unlike the other official ones, can be acquired whenever you desire and gives you only one advantage: a chance to get an enormous amount of varied life changing experiences. Rather than going into too controversial details of whether this citizenship comes for free or no, I'd prefer discussing its interesting aspects!

Globe-trotting through different non-touristic, unconventional parts of the world can bring you exceptional experiences. The moment is priceless: when you are alone, completely lost and trying to find a way back to your new home, you tearfully and reluctantly take a turn to find your destination right in front of you! (Google maps are helpful only if the 3G network is working!) Such small achievements boost your confidence and make you forget how fed up you were with such new beginnings a moment ago. I have had numerous such occasions where I have wandered along the unknown streets of cities thinking about how fairy-tellish is this to see the ruins of ancient Greek temples or luxurious seaside resorts or a hidden museum. The realization of how certain undreamed dreams actually come true is wonderful. Every new city talks to you through many channels and if you open your eyes and ears you will be surprised by the fascinating stories it has to tell you! Here in Beirut every time I step on the street I discover a new thing, I hear a new sound, I see a new aspect. Now I am used to seeing the Army tanks right in the middle of the street, the gun shots, the inquisitive looks etc. etc. What I love the most about Beirut is its starry nights. You can clearly see the stars at night despite the eye-blinding hoardings that adorn almost each street of the city. When I look up and see these stars I feel a certain calm and I think about all my friends and family who are scattered worldwide because at the back of mind I feel that only these stars are the connecting points of our worlds.  I know it's too Bollywoodishly-romantic, but that's how I feel!

Then you meet people from different parts of the world who have lived in many other diverse places and have had their share of experiences. Every time you meet these people, who usually themselves are global citizens, you can feel that despite the fact that you come from different countries you all share one common global fear: whether integrating into the new city, new culture would be easier. This holds true every time you move to a new place irrespective of  the number of years you have been on the move. Everybody talks about their homeland, their friends and family traditions and those unspoken sighs indicate that we all miss our homes pretty badly. You are torn between the new tempting horizons and your home-sweet-home that you have left behind. Everyone fears the possibility of becoming an outsider...to your own people and home. Because while you are playing your Columbus, you miss out on an awful number of birthdays, weddings, family dinners back home. Life goes on without you and you realize that so much has changed that now you  have to try to fit in in something of which previously you were an inseparable part. At no fault of theirs, people learn to live without you and you just have to deal with it!

Of course, this continent-hopping teaches you a great deal about yourself. I have surprised myself at times by reacting in completely different (and better) manners to certain situations. This self-discovery is the best part of this global citizenship. It makes you extra alert and teaches you not to take things for granted! You learn to have dinners, walks alone. You enjoy building your new life from scratch through a new language, new culture, and new people. The joys of visiting a local market, bargaining with the vendors and not getting ripped out, learning to cook a local dish and succeed in it, taking a decision of which bank to choose to invest your money etc. are not to be found in your own protected homeland. It makes you extremely strong when you deal with your long distance relation and its realistic yet unpredictable end. You see your heart shattered all over but like my dad says when you are so far away from home, only you can help yourself and this, my dear friends, is true! Such coming-overs are extremely hurtful but relatively shorter and you are surprised at how quickly you can move on; something that would never happen at home where you are surrounded by your best friends and family and are pampered with all the pep-talks! But though hurtful, it is a very important experience and usually a life-altering one! This independence and self-reliance are too precious to lose, yet at times, it makes you wonder that the price at which it comes, is it really worth it.

Once you settle in and the initial adventures of discovering a new place are faded away, you start forming unbreakable bonds with this new-but-now-not-so-new place. Eventually, you do get integrated with its people and culture and you start feeling at home. The best part is you can be whatever you want to be and nobody really objects. You get the satisfaction of the fact that you did get a chance to evolve and that you succeeded in this self-imposed challenge of adjusting to new, uncomfortable environments. Nonetheless, at the back of your mind, you always long to back to where you came from. You do want not to feel 'ex-pat' for some time because being exotic can be exhausting! Living in a new place is quite exciting and thrilling and you learn about your own strengths. But this learning is not free. You need to accept the fact that you can't be in two places at the same time. So you will find yourself awake at odd hours thinking about what you must be missing out on in that other time zone. The opportunity costs of making certain choices can be really expensive...

Therefore, if you are thinking of taking up this citizenship, my only advice would be to think twice.
But, only twice!

Hijabs and skirts...

For me, it is just unfortunate that the reason for which the 'International Women's Day' was introduced still holds true, even today, after a century. It's just detrimental that we have to celebrate 'International Women's Day' like we celebrate 'International Labor day' or 'World AIDS day', to spread awareness! Have we really become so insensitive towards women; half of the world's living population, that we need a day to tell the world to be aware of our existence and respect us? Why can't this happen naturally? We don't have any 'International Men's Day', do we? So in short it looks like that with the so called (materialistic) progress the problems that women faced have now just altered their form and are on all time high! 

However I must confess that being in the Middle-East has helped me to understand the dire need for such special day for women and though reluctantly, I am glad that there is one of its kinds. Let me give you one of the many examples which make me think this way. An international organization had arranged a marathon to be held next month in Gaza. But it has been canceled because... any guesses... no? Well because the Gaza authorities have declared that no women can participate in this event. I mean, come on! Why can't a woman run in the marathon that was supposed to raise the money for children? Of course, the decision to cancel the whole event is, in its own way, a protest against such an unreasonable decision which has not only insulted the women all over the world but has also deprived those children who, now, might not be able to go to school or get the required medical treatments...

Well for Beirut, it has a very curious mix of women. Most of them wear a hijab and full-length body covering clothes and are usually very traditional and religious. These are working women but with many social restrictions. However, a large number of women do not brandish this religious sign. These are generally the women of high-class families and are busy getting their physical appearances fixed so that they are all dolled up for we all know what. They are dressed in animal print short tight skirts, high heels, over blown-up hair, the fake China made branded handbags with all botoxed physical features. (of course, there are exceptions!!) But such dumbing down makes me wonder if it is really worth the men for whom it's done. Because unfortunately most of them they don't really care! Most of the men here can marry up to 4 times, by law! I had never imagined that such things were real, but now I can say that, yes, they are and I actually know a few of them!  But this also implicates that there are far too many broken hearts...

Even sadder part is that just being a woman doesn't really mean anything here. That's not sufficient! You need to be associated with a certain religion, ethnicity, profession and what not to be worth of receiving better or worse treatment. Racism exacerbates the situation. While teaching French at a local NGO I get to interact with different migrant female workers who have come here from remote parts of Africa, leaving their families behind. Each of them has a unique story which eventually reiterates the fact that they go through all this discrimination shit just because they are women and that too of a different race. Notwithstanding the deplorability of needing a special day for women, it's a really good idea to have one to make everyone aware of their existence and problems. 

It's definitely shameful that a woman who is a mother, daughter, sister, wife, girlfriend, niece, aunt etc. has to face all the said discrimination and put up with it. She is hardly ever spared of the snide comments, lustful looks, unwelcome touching, the dumbing down etc., regardless of whatever she might be wearing; a hijab, a skirt or a sari. All this boils down to the fact that she is a woman and hence she should face the consequences! (??)

An 'International Women's day' certainly gives a hope that soon the other living half of the world will wake up and give us, the women, our rights to live a fearless and tranquil life! Withal it is high time that this idea gets into concerned people's head and that they treat women with care and respect. And I really hope  that there won't be any more need for objectifying women as if they are some cause which needs awareness. It might sound euphoric in current circumstances, still I do hope that any special day dedicated to women only won't be required in future and the acceptance of their being will just be as natural as breathing!

I can't wait for the 'International Women's day' to be removed from the calendar! 

It's Lebanon!

Today it's been exactly two months that I am in this lovely, interesting and intriguing city of Beirut. With each day posing different challenges I have kind of become fond of this place because it's making me stronger than ever. Its people, its culture, its weather and its food have certainly influenced me. I have started appreciating the positive aspects of my life here and also trying to ignore the negative ones with utmost care whilst getting accustomed to 'it's Lebanon' attitude! 

As the 'discovery phase' is almost over for me, now I have become a pro in my daily adventures and I am happy about it. With my little Arabic I can now convince the taxi drivers that I am not a fool ajanabi that they can charge more and so even have had pretty smooth taxi rides since past month with fewer questions about my ethnicity and my profession.

However, I must tell you this: the obsession of Lebanese people about categorization is astonishing. They need to know where the person is coming from, his/her profession and, if possible, financial status. They will scan you from toe to head and start their silent or at times verbal judgments about your dressing. I had never experienced this before and so when I asked around my Lebanese  international friends about it, they said it's for one simple reason that they do it: they need to know that they are in some way superior to you especially if you are a brown woman. At times, the eyes of these people give away what they are thinking and I have kind of started enjoying that monumental shift of regards when I reveal that though I might resemble their maid, I am not one and that I work at the UN...

The external appearances sadly seem to have a higher value here. Even in the Fashion Capital of the world, you can wear whatever you want and not care about it, but not here as it's Lebanon! The society demands the superficiality. The increasing percentage of cosmetic surgeries among women makes me wonder if they will ever see beyond make-up and will ever reach the heart. Are they so afraid of being natural? Frankly speaking, these women flaunting their nose jobs and boob jobs completely screwing the definition of 'beautiful', look all the same to me! It's so fake! These (outer) image-conscious citizens here are even supported (?!!) financially by Lebanon's National bank which gives loans amounting to approximately 5000$ when the majority of Lebanese people struggle to meet ends and should be supported for that. Completely messed up priorities? yes, because sadly it's Lebanon. 

So as you must have guessed it rightly 'it's Lebanon' is an excuse here. For anything that's not working, for anything that's weird and for anything that's below normal acceptance levels! Most of the times this motto is used as a pretext to back up the inefficiency of the political leaders, public services, administration and etc. etc. For example, if there is load shedding every day for three to six hours it's not because the Electricity board is inefficient and that there is a lot of corruption, but because 'it's Lebanon'. Any sane person would wonder why this beautiful country doesn't use its terrific natural resources such as sea, water, wind and sun to produce the electricity and light up the country! When complained to about the bad connectivity, our Internet guy actually said that the situation is same all over Beirut and as 'it's Lebanon' it won't change in the near future! I cannot tell how frustrated I get every time I need to recharge my phone because the telecommunication is so darn expensive! 1 dollar for three minutes of local call?! And mind you, though hardly anybody actually earns in dollars, people here spend in dollars. 

The mentality must change drastically in a positive direction. A fresh example: this evening when I was on my way to meet some friends, I saw three kids playing football on the road. When I walked past them one of the kids came and touched my behind, just like that. Obviously, I wasn't going to accept such a crude behavior and that too from a 10-year-old kid. I did the needful scolding and when later in the evening I discussed it with my landlady she said, to all my indignation 'it's Lebanon' and such things are normal here! I mean, come on! How can this be normal? If such small kids are indulging themselves in these acts what can you expect from their elder brothers, uncles, and fathers? It is all very infuriating and, unfortunately, I can't do anything but to say 'it's Lebanon'.

Even so, the country definitely has a lot of potentials. Slight changes in policy and decision making could take Lebanon on a completely higher and different scale than its neighbors. And then the helplessness behind 'it's Lebanon' will be replaced by pride. I think the problem here is that everybody takes everything for granted and has accepted that this is how things are supposed to be. They believe that somehow the problems will be solved on their own. Ha! If only that was true! Though the whole civil war period wasn't really glorious for Lebanon and it traumatized its people, now it's time get past it and look at the future which can be bright. 'It's Lebanon' should be something they refer to proudly.

The awesomeness of this place kind of fades away under these negative things. But like every black cloud, this one also the silver lining. Though racism is a part of their daily lives, Lebanon is the only country in the region that is tolerant of various sects and religions. The biggest mosque and the biggest church in Beirut are situated next to each other and to me that's fantastic! People are generally welcoming though they first might scan you with their judgmental goggles. The freshness and quality of fruits and vegetables are incomparable! Seeing pine trees on sea shore is a miracle for me! Food is exquisite and delicious! This, too, is because it's Lebanon!

I hope I will remember this place for its good aspects and that the negativity won't affect me much! After all 'it's Lebanon' and I am proud to be here! 

Steps!

Beirut is the hilliest city I have ever been to. Well, San Francisco comes closer to this one, but my friends thought that the Lebanese water had affected my brains too as I even dared to compare SF to Beirut! Oh well! Though Beirut is not aesthetically the best city you could come across, it has its own charm. The skyscrapers with their special window drapes, war-shaken, bullet-proof(ed) and completely destroyed buildings amidst these multi-story buildings, indescribable long traffic jams, cars/buses stopping randomly at the highways to drop-kick up passengers, the continuous honking, the extremely sloped highways and incredibly long staircases give Beirut its own style. For some reason, I am fascinated with these steps! With a pinch of exaggeration, I can say that you are always either climbing up or down in this city!

The steps that join the upper and lower streets of the city are quite unique in their appearance! They are long, colorful, irregular and even uneven! They represent the street art and generally are accompanied by very interesting graphite.  While you are reaching the top, if you turn around you can see the beautiful calm Mediterranean sea gazing at you. It's a very peaceful sight and makes you forget about all the traffic congestion, pollution, and the hustle-bustle that goes on on the streets below (or up!!). Usually, these giant staircases are adorned by very cute small beautiful houses with usually the hanging gardens where you can  expect to see small lemon trees with at least 10-12 lemons in the artistic balconies. I don't want to into the logic behind it, but generally, these steps are in very tranquil areas of Beirut and you can enjoy the much-needed disconnection from the city!

I think writing anything more about this steps won't help and will just be redundant! Plus you might wonder why a whole post for something as ordinary as staircases?! So here I present you some of the pics of these steps and you'll get an idea of what I am talking about! Every city has its characteristics and I think these steps give Beirut its unique mood.

Take a look and you will understand why! 

Relativity...

Yesterday my morning started on a bad note. Oh the usual first-world problems, nothing particular. I thought, 'and there goes my day! why dear God, why it's always me?'. Typical no! So I came to the office in a foul mood and even the smooth taxi ride didn't cheer me up. I didn't want to be grumpy the whole day, but was difficult! And then it was time for the field visit for office work. 

It took us almost an hour to cover a distance of mere 5 km. I was sulking in the back seat of the car with some sad songs playing in my ear (haha!), cribbing in my mind about the horrible traffic, the cold and wasn't even able to enjoy the sea that was spread all along the road. Finally, we reached the destination. We were in a hospital where I was supposed to take  photos of a young Palestinian boy who recently had a liver transplant. The photos were necessary to show to the donor who had paid for half of the operation fees which amounted to some thousands of dollars. The moment I entered the hospital, all my so called chagrins disappeared. Not because I was happy to see a hospital but because I could see with my open eyes people who actually had problems. Some couldn't walk, didn't have enough clothes to protect themselves from the nasty cold winds and some were begging on the street... It was an eye-opener, a slap in my face. It was a signal to see the bigger picture and think bigger.  I was sad about something that wasn't even a real problem!  And here were these people with a smile on their faces even though they were suffering from the worst diseases possible. When I entered the room to see the patient with another colleague from office, I saw an extremely thin guy lying in the bed with his mom sitting at his head and watching TV. That sight shouted at me saying "see, even this guy who fought with death is smiling and what is wrong with you!". I pulled myself back, took the routine pictures and went back to the office with much needed positive vibes in my heart! 

Since I am here in Beirut working for the Palestinian refugees, my attitude towards life is getting more  realistic and I am more appreciative of the things around. I can't say that it's reassuring that there are people with worse problems than mine, but it gives me the energy to forget my petty worries. This power of relating is my new tool! At times, I write in the cover letters that 'coming from India I know the problems of a developing country and this can be an added asset' and (crap) things like that. Now come to think of it, I didn't quite know about that problem. When we visit the camps, schools and get to see some social life of these Palestinian Refugees in Lebanon, I understand that what I claimed I knew was just theory and the reality is way different and frightening. Comparing my problems like no electricity for three hours or no matching shoes etc. with the problems of Refugees must the most stupid comparison in the world, but it definitely gives me the will to continue and eventually a motivation to do something concrete for all these people so that one day will see a real bright day.

But eventually it's all about relativity and we can't forget that everybody's problems have their own place and importance!

I asked myself, "come on!! you have seen poor people in India, you never felt this intensely about the whole situation then?" Maybe I was too young to really understand the gravity of the problem and now that I am away from home, in a foreign land my observational skills are at their best. Maybe after living for three years in France, I have certain expectations from a 'foreign country' and Beirut terribly fails on those, that now I am seeing the same problems with a better and matured insight. However, there is a tinge of sadness in my heart that to understand the gravity of such problems I had to come so far away and couldn't really do much for my fellow citizens. But oh well like they say, it's better late than never!

And so, inshallah I'll be back in India soon! 

Short and sweet?

Let me reiterate a general belief: Living abroad for work or for studies has its pros, and cons too. The  fact of being in a foreign land doesn't sound all that appealing especially when you understand the difference between just visiting a new country and actually living there. Though my friends and I, we consider that I am one of the luckiest persons (hah!) in the world to get to travel so much at such a young age, I would like to confess that at times it's a malediction... 

First of all, you have to be away from your beloved home and family and friends. Though with time I have trained myself to be strong and not get involved beyond a certain extent, at times it is just not possible! There are moments where you need your best friend next to you; not by the phone or on the other side of the screen. You get angry at the engineers for not yet having developed the technology where we could cross the computer screens whenever needed. There are one of those days when you are so sick of your own cooking and crave for even the simplest dish from your mom's kitchen. Plus obviously no Starbucks nor Costa nor any other fancy coffee shop can ever replace one 'coffee in glass' of Roopali and chats around that coffee... You feel like having your bike right there when you are waiting for a bus for hours or stuck in a horrible traffic jam or just tired of walking those last two minutes from the bus stop to your house. You do get bored of 'discovering the new city' and playing your Japanese. You just want to sit at home in front of the TV zapping channels with a bowl of Maggi. But oh wait, there's no TV neither Maggi! You see photos of your friends on Facebook having awesome get-togethers at farm houses or them getting married and what not... You do miss out on a hell lot of things and it is not always possible to deal with this pang of sorrow alone... 

This is when you start questioning your decision of coming so far away to enrich your CV!! But in these low times, if you are lucky like me, you have your newly-formed-age-old-friendships to cheer you up and boost your spirits! Because these are the people who know exactly how you feel as they have 'been there and done that'! They are the ones who can take you out from that momentary frustration and give you hope that things will eventually be just fine! The evening walks, the world-cuisine dinners, the bar hoppings, the general gossiping about the known and unknown people, the giggling on stupid things, the cribbing about how inefficient a city can be and what not give you an assurance that finally you are not really alone in your adventures. They inspire you by their journeys so far and it gives you moral to continue! They sympathize with you in your 'poverty' because they are not any different! 'Let's be poor together' is the best motto! Believe me, it's one of its kind of experience to be the 'first world poor'!! Not really funny but at time amusing and can teach you a great deal about life! However the problem of such friendships is that even if you wanted to, cannot last forever. Well, of course, you do keep in touch through emails and other social networking sites, you promise to visit each other in any corner of the world, but that's not the same, right? 

This is the only part of this whole new-city-new-people adventure I don't quite like. Every time you are on the move, you have to start afresh. You have to find your comfort zones, get used to the different rhythm of life, fight the jet lag, and what not! The only metaphor I can use here is a table from IKEA; You bring the pieces and built it so that it can stand on its feet and serve you. That's exactly what you have to do you every time you are in a new city, new country and are surrounded by unknown people. You have to build yourself with moral, confidence, money, open mind and optimistic attitude so that you can be out there and help yourself survive. But when these things start to get on your nerves and you kind of start losing the balance, it's these new friendships help you to get on with things and in extreme cases prevent your break-down!!

The 'short and sweet' so does suit these wonderful relations.

I really wish there was a world metro which would take you to desired city in 5 mins to make a 'short and sweet' visit to your global friends...